at a stand still

I've been feeling as if I'm at a stand still, as if I"m not going anywhere. The more I try the less I succeed and its really not felt that great, I've got more problems than an algebraic equation but in the midst of all the bad, there really is some good, and I wish I could force myself to appreciate it more. I've got great friends, family, even if we do have our fights. I have a theory that its the people you fight with the most, that you care about the most -not in all cases, some people just fit- but in general. I know some random person I don't care about can say anything at all to me and I could care less, and someone I love say I'm stupid jokingly and I'll think about it for a month straight. I had been drawing and painting again, but the past few weeks I just couldn't find the power in me to life my pencil. Its been kind of hard to get out of my bed and go to a job I really dislike, if there were not people there that I loved I know I couldn't go there every day thats for sure. and yet again I still find a way to fight with people who have done absolutely nothing to me am I mad? or just human. But on the bright side, I'm all registered for school, excited to go back, I actually am looking forward to it, which I know I wasn't last time I went. My memories much better far from perfect, but whatever it was never perfect I just wonder why I always hold myself back. again as I said earlier on my facebook "the best questions are the ones we can't answer".